Mixed Emotions.

If you ever want them, go explore Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia and Myanmar by bus, foot, bicycle, motorbike, motorcycle, boat, kayak, inner tube and elephant and then return home.

I am flying out of Yangon, Myanmar tomorrow morning at 8:00am and landing in Bangkok, Thailand about an hour later. I have less than 24 hours there, during which I will try and do the things I didn't get to do the first time around. I am both awfully excited and terribly sad to be heading back to the States.  I am excited to see friends and family and know I have a place to sleep each night, but sad to be leaving behind the friends I've made here and the excitement that comes with each day.

I love traveling and painting for the same reasons. It's challenging and rewarding and both involve constant problem solving and emotions run strong (good and bad). I really have learned to embrace the anxious feeling I get when the bus / train / boat pulls into a new city where I know nothing / no one and love  the minute that anxiety disappears because I am greeted by twenty guys who I can't really communicate with but who are offering to take me to a place I can sleep that night. Entering a new city on the back of a motorcycle at 5AM might be the best feeling in the world. 

I think a lot about what has been happening at home since I've been gone, what people are doing and thinking about. I wonder what will have changed when I get back and what will be exactly the same. I miss talking about painting and other things that are fun to talk about. I am reading a book about the creation of the universe and just finished one about people's obsession with conquering nature and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE?! I have met so many incredible people here but just as we're really starting to get to know each other (beyond where we've been, where we're heading, where we're from, etc...) I have to hop off the train or they have to get on a bus.  Conversations don't go as far as I'd like (need) them to.

I am excited to have people over to my house to drink Myanmar Whisk(e)y and hear what they've been up to. I'm also excited to jump around in snow, but feel bad for my feet that have been enjoying flip flops for the past two months and will now need to be jammed into boots for two more.

This post has no structure to it. I've got a lot on my mind. When I get back I'll be doing some posts with photos. It was really nice to keep most things to myself during these two months. I think over sharing can lead to self concious experiences - instead of being in the moment and appreciating it, you're thinking about how you can tell people about it. I don't know, maybe that's just me. Either way, a (mostly) blog and Facebook free two months has been nice. It's one of the things I'm going to try and hold on to when I get back - less Facebook = more painting, piano practicing, French lessons and friend time.

Hugs and kisses and sugar and spice,

Bea